IMPOSTER SYNDROME - COINED IN 1978, DESCRIBED AS A FEELING OF “PHONINESS IN PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE THAT THEY ARE NOT INTELLIGENT, CAPABLE OR CREATIVE DESPITE EVIDENCE OF HIGH ACHIEVEMENT."
Recently I've found myself always feeling like my work is complete trash. I know it happens to most creatives but I think it's probably the biggest reason why my work tells the story of personal confidence. When I have the ability and time produce new work, my work shows it. When I have long layoffs and no interaction with my camera, it suffers. When successful, I almost always feel good inside and have a sheer sense of purpose and a growing need to continue to learn more.
My lady constantly tells me that if I love taking pictures I should dedicate more time to getting paid for it... god knows we can use the money. Getting paid to take photographs means more than just that though. It means more responsibility. It means that the photos need to be done to someone else's specifications. It means that everything is on me. The Imposter Syndrome in me won't let me open myself up to that type of failure. Failure is indeed the only way to learn and I'm trying to open myself up to more of that.
My goal with photography was always to have it as a tool in my design career. The more and more I immersed myself into it, the more I'm reminded that it tastes time and patience. My goal as mentioned in a previous post is to continue to get better through 2018. I want to continue to reach out to people looking for imagery and keep opening myself up to criticism and critiques. I'm going to add 1 thing to my list. I would like to acquire at least 1 paying photography job before the end of the year. Preferably for a magazine or editorial.
Only time will tell if I can get over the ongoing imposter syndrome.